So Monday after clinic, although nothing went terribly wrong, i could not get over a feeling of complete failure, just weeks and weeks of it building up. I cried it all out to my husband for about an hour (bless his soul) about anything i could think to cry about, such as:
-Not being able to feel calculus, therefore lots of errors
-No ideal what to do about my table clinic
-Not meeting requirements
-Nervous to pass of PE's
-What if i hurt my patient?
-If and when i see a class III patient, what the heck am i gonna do?
-What if i graduate and am the worst hygienist in the world???
-[Gasp] What if i don't even graduate?
These thoughts cross my mind every day, and you know what...I am sick to death of it! It is time for an attitude change. Yes i suck, but that is why i am a student. I mean, 6 months ago i had no idea what a scaler even was. So from today on, my goal is to stop beating myself up over every little thing. Clinic actually went good today. I finished a 1B in one appointment, i felt what a 7 mm pocket feels like even though i recorded it as a 4 at first (oops), and i had a lot of help feeling the calculus that i missed. My goal for next time: Go sub-g, and feel with an exploratory stroke before i try to scale deposit off!-No ideal what to do about my table clinic
-Not meeting requirements
-Nervous to pass of PE's
-What if i hurt my patient?
-If and when i see a class III patient, what the heck am i gonna do?
-What if i graduate and am the worst hygienist in the world???
-[Gasp] What if i don't even graduate?
10 more days till spring break! Can i get a woot-woot?
Woot Woot!
ReplyDeleteJamie, I hear your words in this post, and I felt the same way. You and I had no previous dental experience and it has been a rough journey. But just 6 months ago I didn't even know the tooth #'s (and still struggle). But know that we are just starting, and you and I have learned SO much!! Hang in there, it will get better (or at least I keep telling myself it will).